In a study based on the gender differences in watching pornography, it shows that around 57% of men watch pornography compared to 25% of womxn. A more recent study shows that womxn’s numbers are growing to about 30%, however, it is still significantly lower than men.
But why is there such a large gap? One reason could be because of how degrading and harmful it is to womxn in order to cater to the male audience. Mainstream pornography has pushed past realism into a twisted, unrecognizable representation of sexual reality because of its extreme portrayal.
The main problem with mainstream pornography is the fact that most of it is misogynistic. Erika Lust, the creator of XConfessions, talks about this problem and how it can affect the younger people that watch this style and how it creates an unrealistic image in their minds. Pornography is accessible now more than ever and it’s almost impossible to prevent children from finding it. When young boys watch this, they will take their findings to create an unhealthy environment for females, who, if also watching this, will be used to the treatment and find it acceptable. Erika Lust mentions the problem that mainstream pornography can “teach girls to depend on men for pleasure or to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over her own”.
So, with almost 10% of the internet’s content being pornography, what are some sites that help womxn feel more empowered rather than objectified, and help create a safer environment between spouses in the bedroom? Below are a few sites that have been created by womxn for womxn to show a more realistic and genuine experience. They have created a safe environment where performers can pick who they want to perform with as well as making sure they are comfortable with their actions, making a refreshing change from sites like PornHub who have recently been involved in scandals dealing with unethical or nonconsensual porn. They also have various options for pornography such as literature, short films or just simple audio content to get you into the mood. These companies are genuine in their promise for a safe and ethical space while showing representation of body shapes and races.
Bellesa.co
Created to change the stigmatized view on womxn in pornography, Bellesa Films wanted to produce adult entertainment that showed womxn as subjects of pleasure rather than objects to conquer. Their goal is to inspire womxn around the world to embrace, explore and celebrate their sexuality “unapologetically and on their own terms”. Bellesa Films emphasize the importance of communication through the process in order to create a safe and genuine environment for the performers, allowing them to pick their partners, set boundaries and limitations as well as allowing the womxn to choose scenes from their own fantasies. With this structure, they show their viewers how to communicate, give consent and navigate power dynamics in the bedroom. From assistant teams that provide them nutrition and hygienic health to the female lead, the womxn feel safe and comfortable from the support.
Whether you are wanting to read stories, watch videos or explore sexual health articles, Bellesa has a variety of resources for your current mood. They even have their own shop at BBoutique where they ship intimate toys internationally for her, him, or couples. They promise discreet shipping with their neutral packaging that is unmarked without any indication besides the shop’s name, so you can keep to your privacy.
Dipsea
Like an intimate version of audible, this female-founded app aims at creating feminist audio that allows you to find a story for whatever occasion. You can search through audio porn that fits your mood, whether you’re in bed for a some you time, about to head to a date and want to get in a flirty mood, or erotic stories to wind down after a long day, Dipsea has a large variety to choose from. They feature a broad range of preferences, perspectives and interests that are fun, safe, and full of enthusiastic content that prioritizes female pleasure. Their goal is to empower womxn to tap into their sexuality more easily and on their own terms. They have different kinds of stories such as becoming part of the story yourself or even stories that help unblock, connect, and how to communicate properly during intimate occasions. For some light reading, they have a blog where you can read up on myths, past taboos, and some sexual mysteries that might need to be uncovered.
XConfessions
Erika Lust started this project as a space to share sexual confessions but grew it into a place where these confessions are turned into short films. Lust wants to change the way pornography is seen by not watching sex itself but watching what is sex and desire is and what it feels like. She wants to share how to communicate with your partner as well as how to be intimate with each other. Each film goes beyond traditional gender roles and exhausted stereotypes, pushing boundaries of fetish, lust, desire and intimacy. XConfessions reflects her views on sex as “healthy, natural part of life worth celebrating whilst placing female pleasure at the center”. Lust even sets values for her films such as equal pleasure, diversity, equal pay, transparency, safe sex, comfortable work standards as well as communicating and agreeing with everything before the shoot in order to provide consent for all parties. Through these films, Lust supports and contributes to charities towards humanitarian disasters, sex workers in the LGBTQ+ community and therapy for the online adult industry.
