As a newly single hottie I figured I would get myself back on the dating apps. After a 2 year hiatus I’ve come back with a vengeance, cluttering my phone storage with Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and the dreaded Grindr. Already I’ve seen more red flags than a Spanish bull. Combining my experience with a few of my fellow and former singletons here are the red flags you need to avoid on dating apps, and trust me you’ll recognise more than a few of them.
When all his photos are group photos
Seriously people. If you don’t like taking photos of yourself I totally get it. If all your photos are gaggles of mediocre white boys though, I will assume you are the least attractive one in each photo. A friend of mine once pointed out that guys lowkey might be banking on you swiping right on their more attractive friend. It’s Tinder, not a lucky dip, let’s not take our chances when it comes to dating.
When his bio says ‘don’t take yourself too seriously’
This is blatant coding for “tolerate all of my shitty behaviour and don’t get offended when I say offensive things”. Why the hell shouldn’t you take yourself seriously? You’re a person with needs, feelings, and your own level of comfort. That needs to be respected. He’s saying you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously because he never will. Whenever I see this in a bio, I immediately swipe left.
When they’re only ‘looking to experiment’ or are ‘looking for a threesome’
A common big fear for lesbians and bisexual women. It’s a bit of a red flag when people aren’t really on an app for the same thing you are. It’s perfectly okay to be upfront about your experience and comfort zones sexually but it can be misleading if that isn’t clear.
One of the most cringe red flags: when he states his height ‘because apparently it matters’
Look, I don’t care how tall you are. Nobody cares. Stop putting women down because they’re attracted to taller men. It’s so tiring to see this plastered all over tinder. It screams insecure and leaves a nasty taste in your mouth. Red flags flapping everywhere.
When he ignores any information you have in your bio
This one is pretty self-explanatory. You write a bio for a reason, and if you include any important info in there it’s just common decency that guys read it and acknowledge your words. If they’re ignoring your bio, they’re simply not interested in what you have to say. In 2022 we’re only dating guys who listen to us.
When he opens with uninvited sexual comments or images (unless you’ve said it’s welcomed!)
Where in my bio does it say I want to see your dick, Darren? Literally nowhere. Some dating apps like Grindr have options to state your preference around receiving NSFW pictures in your basic info but magically this often goes ignored. If he opens a conversation with digitally flashing you, it’s time to move on bestie. Of course, all is well if you’ve clearly stated in your bio that you’re open to unsolicited nudes. If that isn’t the case and you get a peen in your DMs, it’s time to hit the block button.
When he puts down people based on how they look in his bio
Excuse me sir, kindly delete this app and get some help. Men on dating apps have the audacity to fill their bios with insults about weight, skin colour, and how women dress. Having a preference is one thing, but literally what is the point in using your introduction to a potential partner as a platform to put others down? Swiping left or simply not messaging a person you aren’t attractive to takes no effort at all. If a guy has this in his bio, you know he’s not going to have A FIBRE of emotional intelligence. These are usually the same men that smell like hotdog water and have a Mr Burns hairline. Log off and get back to your Joe Rogan Podcast.
When they message you on social media when you don’t match with them
There is nothing quite as annoying as an Instagram DM that reads “hey I saw you on tinder but we didn’t match”. I swiped left. Please evacuate my DMs and put some effort into flirting with people who have swiped right on you.
When they joke about their pronouns
Wow, it’s just SO original to state your pronouns as “nor/mal”, you’re really a comedic genius. They don’t respect that pronouns are important. Red flag. Next.
When they have ZERO bio or only one photo
Make. An. Effort. How am I supposed to gleam anything about you from a photo that looks like it was taken on a potato from 2007 with no accompanying words about you. Red flags because you don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into it.
When their bio only has their Snapchat username
This is not 2012, we aren’t 13, and we all know that asking for your snap on a dating app is code for “let’s send nudes”. If the only information in their bio is their snapchat username it’s clear they only want one thing, and you deserve more than that. It also literally means they have nothing more interesting to offer than nudes on an app that respectfully, we should leave to the high schoolers.
When he has anything sexist, homophobic, or racist in his bio (yuck, red flags galore)
The number of bios that are blatantly sexist, homophobic, racist, or any other ‘ist’ is equal parts disgusting and shocking. In 2022, we aren’t tolerating any ignorant men who think rape jokes are funny, or think it’s banter to put down women and people of colour. This isn’t the energy we are accepting into our lives, and it’s essential that the guys we swipe right on, tap, DM, and send likes to are going to reciprocate our values and have a shred of social intelligence.