If I were to ask you what the crimes of publicly reprimanded women are, what would you guess? Women who receive public humiliation through the press and social media, what is their charge? Is it violence, or hatred, or is it the easily committed crime of simply being seen as annoying?
The treatment of women in the public eye is evidence that culture still demands women to be docile and palatable. Society tells women that they are commodities, and commodities must be able to sell. And what must a woman be in order to tick the box on the invisible spec sheet? Compliant, obedient and usually quiet.
Whether it’s singers, actresses or royals: women are sucked into the trend cycle and spat back out when their actions do not align with patriarchy’s ‘perfect women’. When their actions dare to deviate, they are met with volition. How dare they break out from their obedient womanly ways? Sexism operates as social control, warning women in the public that the same could happen to them if they don’t behave. In comparison, male figures often get away with hatred, abuse and violence, untouched – their careers and credibility well intact. So, the next time the algorithms tell you what a ‘bitch’ the current hot topic is, judge her case with a critical eye.
After a decade of hard work in the industry, Chappell Roan shot to seemingly overnight stardom following her 2024 Coachella performance. The powerful Good Luck, Babe! bridge shot through the heart of many queer women. Quickly, she was reaching the heights of legends – a revolutionary, counter-cultural, a true artist. Her trajectory was clear. That is, until she committed the crime of breaking out of deferential womanhood.
Mainstream culture turned on her after she asserted her boundaries against a celebrity culture that is invasive, disrespectful and dangerous. Famously, Roan has been outspoken against intrusive paparazzi at award shows. What message does this teach the subconscious? If you deviate from your subservience, you will get thrown to the dogs? The public humiliation of women who dare to outline their boundaries is an attempted threat to any woman who dares to demand better for herself.
Public humiliation is patriarchy’s weapon of choice – following winning a Grammy, Roan boldly called out for artists to be given better health insurance from their labels. Op-eds rolled out condescendingly attempting to brandish her as misinformed. Because, of course, if a woman is speaking out about a financial issue, she must be mistaken.
Chappell is not the only woman to meet this fate. Her tale is one of many of a woman asserting herself, and being branded a villain.
In fact, this trend is so prevalent that it even has a name – getting ‘woman’d’. The term, coined by essayist Rayne Fisher-Quann, describes the violent way in which women are discarded and ridiculed in the media once their reign is deemed over. Women in the public eye today have an expiry date. Their success begins with adoration and awe. She receives praise, she’s put on a pedestal. But it’s almost too much praise. It is at this point that the hatred begins, and the internet takedown really sets off. Her behaviour is hyper-analysed, culture is itching for an opportunity to knock her down from her throne. All it could take is one bad day at a press tour, or an out-of-touch social media post and the comments roll in: she overstepped her mark, she doesn’t deserve the hype, and she always got under your skin.
Once you’ve noticed this trend, you’ll begin to see it everywhere. You’ll become attuned to spotting when a woman is being socially punished for not much at all, aside from defying what is seen as appropriate for a woman.
Take the recent hatred towards Millie Bobby Brown, a young actress who faced media attacks after simply wearing more makeup. Bobby-Brown came to stardom as a child star, and has faced a malicious media pile-on following public appearances, with outlets slamming her for looking ‘too grown up’. Sexism was outraged at the sight of a young woman daring to outgrow her childhood, and suddenly, she was trying too hard to look older.
There are countless examples that prove that women in the media cannot win. Whether they defy the nuclear family or try to appease the traditional wife archetype, they are subject to scrutiny. Upon debuting a cooking show, Meghan Markle faced backlash for being too perfect? Journalists branded her “too polished, too pristine, too detached from reality”. After years of a hateful media campaign, Markle is slandered continuously, even when attempting to rebrand. No matter where women turn, no matter how they attempt to play with gender roles, they are relentlessly subjected to criticism.
This is not to say that women should be exempt from criticism. Like everyone, women are capable of being cruel and making mistakes. To deny this is to take away women’s agency. Despite this, there is something to be said about the rate at which seemingly successful women fall from grace and suddenly become the site of public humiliation.
Take this in comparison to men, who can commit crimes, speak hatred and still leave with adoring fans and positive media reception. I mean, you can have over 20 sexual assault allegations over the course of your career and still become President of the United States. You can be a filmmaker facing abuse charges, and have 100 of your colleagues sign a petition asking for your release.
All of this is to say, women are not judged to the same standards as men; we never have been. A woman must consistently perform to appease the public – she must be politically engaged, but not overstep her mark, she must be ‘progressive’, but not too liberal, but she must be liberated, just not overly sexual. The paradox whirs around, and with each turn, a woman is churned out, exhausted by the expectations.
If you look in comment sections under viral clips of Megan’s Netflix show or Chappell’s speeches, you’ll find people (both men and women) brandishing them as ‘annoying’. This word crops up again and again, and what it is saying is ‘I am irritated by this woman who does not fit into the restrictive box of femininity’.
Whether that means being outspoken, trying a new makeup look or attempting a new image. Being simply irritating to the public is enough to earn social exile. Men in the public eye, on the other hand, are allowed to continue on with their livelihoods despite having committed actual offences. When you Google ‘Most hated woman”, you are met by articles of female celebrities describing their mistreatment for being slightly jarring. On the other hand, search ‘most hated men’ and you will find information on men who are literal criminals – evil billionaires who are destroying the planet, dictators who are responsible for genocides, rapists and murderers.
What lesson can we learn from this? Firstly, patriarchy is going to judge you regardless, it leaves no innocents. Therefore, go forward without worrying about how you are perceived as a woman. Women are stuck in something of a double-bind – trapped between two impossible options, you can either work within the patriarchy and harm yourself or reject it and be punished. Essentially, there is no winning. With this in mind, next time a cultural critic tells you that the current trendy female celebrity has committed an unforgivable sin, look at her with a little more compassion. She is probably less evil than you are made to think.
